Something less serious than my usual fare, today. This Christmas (or is it Winterval?) greeting was emailed, facetiously (I imagine), from a lawyer at a top London firm, and forwarded eventually to me*. I rather enjoyed it. Not being a Druid, I was unsure of whether to be mortally offended at the mention of the winter solstice, but I’ll let it pass in the interests of seasonal good will.
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
In addition, please also accept our best wishes for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make this country great (not to imply that this country is necessarily greater than any other country or area of choice), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the wishers.
This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.”
(*Actually a quick google would have shown me this one has been doing the rounds for a while. But I like it no less for that.)